Breathe - When All Else Fails

 

I have started writing this blog several times in my head....but then I don't type it out. 

I started typing and I back up and delete it. Then I get up and walk away. 

I come back.

 

I've not said much lately as far as our usual transparency of "how are you" and "how are things going."  Sometimes people assume no news is good news and others know silence usually means things are chaoitic and too insane to sit back and type a blog. 

The last month has been filled with more medical appointments than I have even kept a count of.  Most weeks, each day has been consumed with a pre-op, post-op, surgery day, check up day, x-ray day, hospital infusion day, or something to occupy the twenty four hours in our days. 

For some reason, the oldest child dislikes school.  Each morning begins with a fight of finding the right blue jeans and underwear combination that fits to his liking.  Then his anxiety soars at drop off time because he wants you to walk him to the door.  The youngest, age 4, has had to miss about as many days of preschool as he has been able to attend these first few weeks becuase of our many appointments and obligations.  So now he clings at my leg and doesn't want to let go for school most days too. The oldest has begged for weeks for me to homeschool him.

The kids don't want stay in a room in our home if an adult is not with them.  The won't go to the bathroom alone, and I can't go to the bathroom alone either, most of the time.  They don't want to go to sleep in their bed, unless you lay down and go to sleep with them.  They wake up. They run to find you.  Elbows and knees proceed to jab and poke for an uncomfortable night of restless sleep.  One pees on the bed.

Laundry to do.  Another night.  Another wake up.  Same story.  Laundry. Coffee.  Cary on.  Repeat.

John has been in alot of pain.  For some reason the oddness of the last few weeks has prompted him to not take meds regularly.  So, Monday he played golf....best game ever.  Then Tuesday through Friday he was unable to get out of bed.  Friday evening he wanted to get out and we rode to town.  He asked two or three times for the kids to be quiet.  They didn't quite down enough to his liking.  He said, "I've had enough" and leaped from the car. 

The kids were upset but took it in stride. I pulled off the road but he refused to get back in the car.  After walking about .4 mile, an officer friend of John's picked him up and took him home.  John threw the contents of his pockets on the floor and went to rest in quiet and calm down. 

Two days prior, as we were getting ready to go to get his stiches out, I reminded him to hurry and put his pants on.  He was already wearing his shoes.  So I reminded him where his bottoms were.  I get the kids out the door and turn back to turn off the lights, like moms do.  When I got outside to unlock the car for them, there John was standing beside the car in his underwear.  He was ready to go, so he said.  Yet, oblivious to the fact he wasn't dressed.  Sigh. Turn around, go back.  Buckle kids. Go to school. Drive 4 hours to doctor.  Come home. Repeat. 

I suppose I should be stressed out beyond belief, but I'm not.  I wish I could get more done.  I wish I had more time for me.  I wish my house stayed cleaner and neater and long for the day when the kids will help pick up more than they throw down.  However, in the meantime, the stress won't make it better.  Worry and anxity won't create a better situation.  I have to be as calm as I can.  I have to carry on.  I have to breathe. I have to pray. 

 

All the while my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils; My lips shall not speak wickedness, nor my tongue utter deceit. Job 27: 3-4

 

I feel like I can relate a lot with Job lately.  I have to deal with my reality of life.  When all else fails....take a deep breath and just be.  Just be.  Just be as thankful as you can be.  Be as content and forgiving as possible.  Be seeking how to live more fully and aware of life.  Be hopeful.  Be prayerful. Be fervent.  Be loving.  Be kind. 

And at the time when you feel you need a break from reality...cry and greive.  Then when all else fails....take a deep breath and... Repeat.

Chapter Induction

Very busy week with lots going on but excited that today the date was set for the new MOPH Chapter's Induction.  

Officers elected for Chapter #1000 are John Flener, of Fitzgerald, as Commander; Bill Danforth, of McRae, as Senior Vice Commander; Earl Hendrix, of Adel, as Finance Officer; Warren Scoby, of Valdosta, as Adjutant; and Jim Graham, of Ocilla, as Chaplin. These officers will be sworn in at the Chapter Installation ceremony.

The Chapter meets each month on the first Tuesday at 7:15 PM at the VFW building in Tifton, Georgia. They invite combat wounded veterans to join in their efforts to promote patriotism, history, fraternalism, and assistance to all veterans with VA claims, homelessness, and job placement.

The Military Order of the Purple Heart (MOPH) was chartered by Congress in 1932 to protect and promote the mutual interests of Purple Heart recipients. MOPH is the only veterans' service organization that is comprised exclusively of combat veterans. All combat wounded are invited to come and meet fellow Purple Heart Veterans ranging from World War II to the present – you do not need to be a member to join us. To become a member, the organization needs a copy of the Purple Heart Certificate, DD-214, or a copy of the original orders. All Purple Heart recipients in the vicinity are welcome to join. Associate membership is available to eligible family members of both living and deceased Purple Heart recipients.

Chapter 1000 has big plans for the coming year, including a golf tournament in November at The Golf Club of South Georgia, participation in local Christmas parades, presence at the Vietnam Moving Wall in Adel, care package collection and distribution for deployed soldiers and hospitalized and homeless veterans, and a flag trade in the spring.

My Udi's Prize Pack Came Today!

My #udisglutenfree prize pack came today! Can't wait to try it...I feel a nice blog post coming up. pic.twitter.com/aW8tng8XPJ
— Amanda Flener (@ourflenerfamily) September 11, 2013

Discouraged or Thankful? That is the Question.

It's been one of those days.
We all have them.
Sometimes it just seems ours pound us relentlessly. It would be so easy to be discouraged yet we pick up and carry on.  We muster up enough gusto and stamina to get through our situations.  I am very thankful for family who help out in whatever ways they can.  Today, Mom has done laundry and dishes, cleaned around the house, and Papa came to get the kiddos for a last hooray before school. 

How did your day start?

My day began with a quick trip to the doctor to get my soft cast on my broke foot re-wrapped.  I came home to one kid still sleeping and John and the youngest were watching TV.  Soon after I came back, I heard John calling, "Amanda! Where's the bathroom? How do I get to the bathroom?"  I went to the living room and found him screening the walls, moving his head around the room in a panic.  I helped him to the bathroom as he quizzed me.  "Who's house is this? Where are we at?"

After I told him it was our house and we had lived here for over four years, he turned to our 6-year old son and asked him, "Who's house is this?" 

Gabriel told him, "It's our house, Daddy."

In almost disbelief, John chose to lay on our bed, asking "Who's room is this? Who's bed is this. Are you kidding me?"

I called mom and asked her to come over to help get the kids dressed and such.  John asked if she was coming to take us to our house. 

Matthew 6:27 NIV
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

How do you even respond?

You could panic.  Likely, it wouldn't do any good.  We all calmly dealt with the unusual morning we were presented with.  Our kids are terrific.  They really adapt and deal with our unique situations better than most adults would.  What would you do if your 37 year old spouse suddenly woke up disoriented to the point that he or she didn't recognize their surroundings?  Thankfully this doesn't happen often.  But, it happens.

The boys loved John, hugged him, and we tried to assure him that this was indeed our house and reorient him as best we could.

Philippians 4:6 International Standard Version

Never worry about anything. Instead, in every situation let your petitions be made known to God through prayers and requests, with thanksgiving.

 

Why choose Thankfulness?

Why not? Does it really do any good to be discouraged?  Try to focus on the positives.  These are the precise moments that make us realize that we must cherish the good times,

This week's quick trip to Universal

the good days, the good moments, the fleeting precious moments that we can experience and embrace as a family. 

For John, it is important that we do things with the kids that they can look back on and know that he tried to have good memories with them, even if he is unable to remember them.  He and I took a vacation a year and a half ago that he really doesn't remember.  Yet, I know the effort he made to make sure that we had a getaway just for us.  Our children will have memories and photos to look back on after the images are no longer in John's recollection. 

Our spontaneous trips provide an escape and a vital key to him believing that he is trying his best to show them he loves them, wants them to know that he cares, and put forth the effort when possible.

Thankfully not every day is like today.  Not every day is a cake walk.  Thankfully we have good experiences that we can cherish and we can hold onto the unconditional love that we have.  We are blessed with a great family.

Whether your family if filled with members who have special needs or just average folks, love them, cherish them, and tell them how much they mean. 

I Thessalonians 5: 15-18 NIV

Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. 16. Rejoice always, 17. pray continually, 18. give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.