John spent the weekend riding along with a friend at the Sheriff Office to get his hours in for an internship he is doing for a criminal justice class he is currently taking. We had talked about us leaving for Jesup for the weekend but he felt he really needed to get his hours in and urged me to take the kids and "Go." He tried to assure me that he felt "fine."
I hesitate to hear John use the word "fine" as he uses it when he's on the floor semi-conscious and obviously not "fine." This time, I knew he had had about 3 good days and I felt comfortable leaving so in a hurry of about 15 minutes the kids (ages 3 and 5) dressed themselves, packed their own bags, I changed clothes, and threw some snacks in a bag, and took off.
We left in such a hurry that I didn't even take my debit card so we ran by the bank and withdrew some cash and got gas and left on the almost two hours road trip there. I called John back a time or two and told him we may or may not come home Friday night. Maybe it would be Saturday but we would just talk and figure it out.
While I was driving, I realized it had been over a year since I had left John alone for a weekend trip. I recall very vividly hesitating the last time before the boys and I went to a shower for someone. John forgot to take his medicines each day that I was not here to remind him. I had even left him a note on the television with the meds on the TV stand. The note, I might add was on an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper. It wasn't your average sticky note. John had a bad weekend at work. He couldn't find the patrol car keys, wound up trying to apprehend a criminal, and tazed himself in the process while the patrol car gently rolled into the building where he was trying to subdue the man.
This weekend, I knew John would be riding and not driving. He assured me he would take his meds, but I had heard that so many times. He kept telling me he felt good and that I should stay in Jesup even saying at one point, "See you on Sunday afternoon."
I can not even begin to say how much I have needed a break. But this worked. It felt good. I really believed that he was "fine" and would be alright until I got back. I even enjoyed being gone, being in church, visiting with family and friends, and playing with the kids. It was a "be anxious over nothing" kind of weekend.
John did take his meds and he was ok.
Thank you God for a weekend break of refreshing renewal and peace. This week, I expect a good week. No, I expect a great week and a great month. I'm looking forward to going on vacation in a couple weeks. A much needed family break. I believe that we can have the best vacation weekend in a while.